I haven't blogged in a month of Sundays. I told myself I was going to take more time to blog. This blog post came after some early morning Sunday reflection period.
I love Micheal W. Smith. Here is a contemporary Christian singer. There is a song that he sings that is played on my one of my favorite radio stations. The name of the song is called "My place in this world." The chorus talks about roaming through the night trying to find our place in this world. That's all we trying to do. Find out where we fit in, where we belong, why we are here. There's not a day that goes by that I wonder where do I fit in. What group do I belong to?
I have always been "different." I slept with a teddy bear until I was 30. I still watch cartoons. I get excited when I eat cupcakes. I have an obsession with Superman. I get chill bumps when I see college football traditions or hear John Facinda narrating NFL films. I spent alot of my life trying to figure where I fit in. What group do I belong to? It really took me awhile to figure out and I am still trying to figure where I fit in. I think I have found the answer, the Holy Grail of answers.
I fit in nowhere. Now, I know you are thinking, Dang why didnt you get to the point like 5 mins ago. Could have saved me some time. It took me a long time to realize I am my own person. I don't have to fit in to a box. I can be whomever I want to be. Either embrace it or get to stepping. It is human to want to belong to something, to fit in. People will shun you if you dont fit into the norms. I think that if we started embracing our individualism more than excluding those who dont fit into boxes, the world will would be less judgemental.
We are too busy trying to put people in square holes, when we are all triangles, circles, trapezoids, and pentagons. We are all different and that's ok. Everyone should do their own funky thing and not be talked about because of it.
Alot of my life I tried to fit in. To be accepted. I had to like what everyone else liked, because what I liked wasn't cool. I had a phase of trying to be really girly. Makeup, heels the whole 9. I had my rap phase. All i listened to was rap music. I have had all kinds of phases to fit in with others, to be more accepted. And lets not discuss how many phases I went through with trying to meet guys. I would change myself to fit into their mold of the kind of woman they would want. I met a guy who liked fit women, so I exercised all the time to lose weight. I met a real bible thumper, so I molded myself into this christian woman who didnt curse and knew the bible backwards and forwards. I conformed to things that I were not me. To fit in, to belong.
I believe in God. My belief in God has gotten me through some tough times. God has different names depending on who you talk to. The God that I believe didnt make us alike and thats ok. We are all different shapes, colors, and beliefs. If he/she wanted us to look alike, we would. We all have different ways of thinking, of communicating, and that's ok.
So in embracing my individualism, let me tell you who this individual is:
1. Loves sports.
2. Reads feminist theory.
3. Embraces 70's culture
4. Believes that if Donny Hathaway and Nina Simone had a child, it would be her.
5. Has the coolest ostomy in the world named Lisa
6. Really wants to date outside her race
7. Has to chew gum constantly because she is still going through her Freudian oral stage
8. Can watch Annie Hall and Blazing Saddles every day for the rest of her life.
9. Really does watch alot of TV
10. knows lots of useless trivial knowledege and wonders why she hasnt been on any game show to use these talents.
So, there you have it. That's who this individual is. embrace your own individualism. Don't put yourself in a box. You were meant to stand out.
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